you won't bring me down

Lately, everyone has been telling me what they want me to do. What I have to cook, when I have to clean, what to take in school, and when to wake up in the morning. But, I'm tired of it. People think that I'm an idiot, that I never am right, and that I don't know what I'm talking about, any of the time. But, I'm smart, I know what I'm talking about. And now, I'm standing up for myself!

I'm defying gravity.



This is one of my favorite versions. Both singers are going through so much adversity, and they're finally going to defy gravity, and not listen to the people who treat them cruelly and try to bring them down.

when I don't suck, apparently, I'm pretty great

So, Brandon and I were talking. And, I told him about the last blog post that I wrote. He was like, "What are you talking about? You don't suck! Sometimes I wish that you would, but pretty much, you're perfect."

I couldn't help but laugh and then think of how lucky I am because as many flaws as I may see in myself, and as many flaws as other people may see in me, Brandon doesn't see them. I mean, sure, he and I both know that I have a huge list of flaws, but he just sees them as more reasons to love me. And, in my book, that's pretty great!

I feel like sometimes I am too much of a perfectionist and that I don't leave any room for Brandon to be perfect. But, I'm just going to list the ways that he is perfect (especially in the areas that I could use improvement).
1. He never tells me too much, that he loves me.
2. He understands that sometimes I need control in the kitchen, so he steps aside and dries the dishes while I clean them. I honestly love that.
3. He cuddles me perfectly. Not too much, where I feel like I don't have room to breathe, but just perfect.
4. He reminds me to be grateful for the things that I have.
5. He helps me to be patient. I mean, because of him, I am patient for the best things life has to offer.
6. He carries me across our muddy, swamp driveway so that my moccasins won't get even more ruined!
7. He has a goal for our future and works everyday to fulfill and complete that goal.
8. He keeps his eyes on the prize!
9. He lets me vent to him, even if it's something that he could care less about.
10. He puts up with my cooking, even when it's not the greatest (thanks for eating those burned pancakes!).
11. He hates it when I tickle him, but lets me sometimes, just to see me smile.
12. He is the most amazing kisser, ever. (I know, probably a little TMI, but he really is!)
13. He remembers the things that are most important to him and he doesn't let anything in the way of those things.
14. He sticks up for me, when I can't stick up for myself.

And, there are many other things that he is amazing at, but I don't know that I will bore you with a list of over 100 things! lol. I just wanted to let everyone know that my imperfections are complimented perfectly by his perfections. I think that's why we're perfect for each other.

So, basically... I suck!

Yep, it's true, I do. I suck and I fail at keeping up with my blogs. I mean, I do my best. But, sometimes I feel so mean, because sometimes I don't really care! OK, that was mean, and horrible. But, oh well. I've got enough other stuff on my plate that I could honestly care what stuff is going on in some peoples lives. AND, if you're not willing to write on your blog frequently (like once a week) I'm not willing to waste my time to read it.

OK, that was horribly mean, and I feel bad for writing it. But, who cares, it's the truth! I know that I could be better sometimes at updating my blog. (I mean, let's face it, there were months in the past were I made only one post!)

Other areas that I suck are...

Maybe I should point out ones that "the others" have pointed out about me...

I suck at being motivated to going to school. I sometimes just don't see the point. I mean, I know it's good for me, Brandon, and our future. BUT, I really hate it sometimes. I don't find enjoyment in sitting in a classroom wasting my day away, when I could be working, making money, instead. I would love to someday be a "stay at home" mom (if my future circumstance allows it), so why would I want to waste my time in a classroom for a degree that I'm never going to use?

I suck at cooking. Honestly, I really don't, this is just what I feel like sometimes because I'm not used to making things out of "ATK". And, I'm really not used to making things from another cuisine (other than American food). I mean, I love to make Chinese food, Italian, Mexican. But, because it's not ECLECTIC, I fail.

I suck at communicating. I talk a lot. But, sometimes I really suck at communicating what I'm feeling. And also, at what I'm doing. After living on my own for a year, and not having to tell people where I'm going or what I'm doing... it's just hard to get back into that groove.

I suck at getting along with people. Actually wait, no, I get along with everyone, and I really do love everyone and try to see the good in people. Sometimes, I just wish that people would try to do that with me a little bit more. I mean, if you judge me only on my shortcomings... that's not cool. I'm pretty great in a ton of areas too!

Realizing the END is near...

So, lately, I have been realizing that the end of my single life is growing nearer and nearer. Well, I mean, I haven't really been SINGLE for the past almost 3 years, but you know what I mean. A lot of people get so nervous about saying goodbye to their "singleness". But me, I couldn't be more excited and anxious for it.

Despite the fact that sometimes I think Brandon is more entertained by painting a bedroom, cleaning the bedroom or bathroom, or even his best friend Jared, than he is by me. I cannot wait to be married to him. He is the man of my dreams. He cares about making things PERFECT, he cares about how I am feeling, he knows ALMOST every expression that I have (even the little ones that I only make on certain occasions), and he knows what I want more than anything in this entire world.

Brandon is my best friend in the entire world (sorry Christine, Brock, Nic, and Amanda). I have always wanted to marry my best friend, and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world, that I actually get to!

So, This is what it's like?

It's finally setting in that I'm getting married in LESS than 3 months! The stress is finally starting to kick in, but the excitement I think out weighs any stress that I'm feeling.

I seriously love spending ANY time with Brandon. Even if it's me cooking dinner, while he's in the bedroom cleaning. It's knowing that he is there under the same roof as me, and not hundreds of miles away in Mexico. And, I think it's also the fact that I know in less than 3 months, I will get to be under the same roof as him everyday AND every night.

We were talking in institute last night about how things just don't seem worth it, unless you have to work for it. Like, for example, having a baby, running a marathon, or for some... serving a mission. I think that for me it was WAITING for a missionary. Sure, I could have been in a NORMAL relationship for 2-years, but that just wouldn't be my style. And, I don't know that I would have grown to appreciate the relationship that Brandon and I do have, or that I would appreciate spending just a few minutes with him. I think that because I spent SOOOO much time without him, now I appreciate even more when we are just together. I even love just sitting in the same room as him, not really even talking, but just being together. It's amazing.

Who'd have thought?

That my first post of this year would be about my wedding frustrations! I'm sure nobody. (OK, or at least I can hope that people don't think all I do is stress about wedding stuff.)

Well, today is "invitation day". Yes, it is a themed day. My Nana and I have put a theme to every day, so that we get EVERYTHING all done, before it is too late!

As of now, we're working on printing the response cards, which we thought would be the easiest thing on the list of things to print. Little did I know that the printer was going to jam up and now print... NOTHING!

So, here's to hoping that Monday will be a better day of wedding planning and preparation.