How Do I Hurt???

I watched you wave goodbye

As you rolled down our drive
Without one single tear in your eyes
I tried to be strong
Forced a smile, said girl go on
I’ll be fine don’t you worry bout me
But inside I was holdin’ on
Prayin’ that you might see I’m all you’ll ever need

How do I hurt?
And how do I cry
When so many times you let me down
Where do I turn?
And where do I hide.
With all this emptiness inside
There’s no use in lovin’ you at all
So let me fall

I try to make it through the days
Of throwin’ all those things away
The ones that remind me of you
But soon they’ll be nothin’ left
But the bed where you laid your head
The one that I wake up in, without you

How do I hurt?
And how do I cry
When so many times you let me down
Where do I turn?
And where do I hide.
With all this emptiness inside
There’s no use in lovin’ you at all
So let me fall

How do I hurt?
And how do I cry
When so many times you let me down
Where do I turn?
And where do I hide.
With all this emptiness inside
There’s no use in lovin’ you at all
There’s no use in lovin’ you at all
So let me fall
Let me fall

And the Winner is...

So, for those of you who helped me make my decision, for my halloween costume, thank you! The verdict is in, I will be Mrs. Incredible. How exactly I am going to do this, I'm not too sure, since I am on a VERY limited budget, this will be very difficult, but it will be done! HOPEFULLY ;)

I am so excited for Halloween! I love getting the chance to dress up like a little kid again. Also, this year, I am going home for Halloween weekend, so I will maybe get to go to a Halloween party this year, and even go to my old neighborhood's annual halloween chili cook-off. Basically what happens is, all of the neighbors go to my old next door neighbor's house and they bring either chili, salad, cornbread, or whatever to go with chili. And, it's a huge potluck thing. Then, all of the kids go out trick-or-treating and the adults all stay at my neighbor's house and pass out candy. Usually, my sister and I take the kids out trick-or-treating, but this year, we'll be taking Hailey out!

And, incase you couldn't tell from my California Here I Come post, or from the above paragraph, I am VERY VERY excited to go home! LESS THAN A WEEK!!!

California, here I come!

So, I got a phone call from my friend David (as I was driving home from Idaho on Sunday) and, he asked if I wanted to go home, to California, with him, Halloween weekend. I OF COURSE said YES!

So, now, I'm so excited that I get to go home for a weekend. I realized that I am getting homesick. Yes, this was pretty much my choice to move out here, but that doesn't change the fact that it was what I needed to do, and that I am homesick.

Here are a list of things I am excited for:
1. seeing my family
2. seeing my friends, especially: Ashley Stowell, Brock, and other friends from Temecula
3. eating In-N-Out
4. being IN California
5. getting to see my niece dressed up for her first Halloween
6. getting to bring back like 5 blankets (cuz it is starting to get SOOOO cold here! right now it is 48 degrees, and it's OCTOBER!)

I'm so excited to go home, but it's kind of weird, I don't know that I am going to want to leave on Sunday. I will more than likely cry when I have to say goodbye to my sister, again. And, I know that I will cry when I have to say goodbye to my dad, because I will only get to see him on Friday because he's going on a business trip. I'm hoping that my brother will be excited to see me. He's been really upset with me ever since I moved out here to Utah, so I'm hoping that this trip home will cheer him up. Especially since he's going to get to see me again 3&1/2 weeks later, for Thanksgiving!

While I'm home, I really hope that I will get to see you (if you'll be there too). Let's hope that I don't have too hard of a time leaving!

Rexburg, Idaho... U-Da-HO!

Here I am, sitting in Rexburg, Idaho. I kind of never thought that I would be here, but, here I am. I got here yesterday, and have been hanging out with Tiffany and Ashley Stowell since.

Ashley flew into the Salt Lake airport yesterday (Thursday) morning, and I picked her up. Then, we drove the 3&1/2 hour drive up here. We stopped at Burger King in Pocatello, and then stopped again for gas. It was really funny, once we got here, we realized that we didn't turn on the radio the entire drive. I guess that that's what happens when you see someone for the first time in like 4 months! But, I loved talking to her, I have missed her so much!

We got into Rexburg at about 1:30pm, and Tiffany was so excited to see us. (I think she was more excited to see Ashley, but that's ok.) Then, we just hungout. I honestly have missed these girls so much! We went and visited some of their old roommates, then came home and hungout some more. We had an "Office" party, then watched the 6th Sense with Tiffany's roommates and friends. Tiffany had never seen it, but one of her roommates that had seen it before, got more scared than I had ever seen anyone get during that movie. She screamed everytime she saw a shadow, or anything that looked just a little bit scary. It really kind of drove me crazy, because I never get scared in that movie, but the roommate was scaring me! ha ha ha.

So, I will be here until Sunday. And, I'm very excited about it. I don't think I can say it enough, how much I missed these girls! We're going to a "Haunted Mill" tonight, then tomorrow night we're going to this thing called "Guitars Unplugged". And, it should be totally awesome!

The end of an amazing weekend, and the Beginning of a fun-filled week!

This past weekend was so much fun! I had a bonfire with some friends on Friday night... SOOO FUN! We roasted marshmallows, made s'mores, and just had a lot of fun staying warm by the fire. Then, on Saturday, I got to go to the BYU vs. New Mexico football game. It was FREEZING outside, but it was so much fun. My roommate Anikah and I went together, and ended up getting 3 free tickets. We were sitting in the North End Zone, about half way up, and it was sometimes hard to see the ball, but it was just such a fun place to be at. Then, we came home and made dinner and basically just hungout at the apartment for the rest of the night. That night, it snowed a little bit! OK, according to my roommate Melissa it wasn't really snow, that it was hail, but we were pretending it was actually snowing. Then, we got up on Sunday morning to get ready for church, it was FREEZING! Then, I looked outside, and it was snowing AGAIN! This time, Melissa said that it was a flurry. I proceeded to tell her that a flurry is something made of ice cream that you buy at McDonald's and NOT what falls out of the air. Then, we got to church, and there was snow on some of the people's cars. Only to prove my point, that it was snowing! Well, when I got into church, I got really sick. Everyone told me that I did not look good, and I didn't feel well at all. I was really dizzy, my eyes couldn't focus on anything, and my head was starting to hurt really bad! Then, Melissa took me home, and I slept for 7&1/2 hours! I then woke up, and wasn't feeling better, at all! So, I called my home teachers, Eric and Devin, and they came and gave me a blessing. Seriously, you have no idea how much that helped. I layed down for a little bit, then got up, and was feeling 10 times better! It was a very big testimony strengthener of Priesthood Blessings, and of the faith that we have in them.

Well, now it is Monday morning (actually around noon) and I am so excited about this upcoming week! I didn't get called to sub for today, which is ok, because it meant I could sleep in until 10:30! But, I am working at the school that I love, Springcreek Elementary School, for the next two days. I will be subbing another special ed class, but it will be a little different. I worked with this teacher the last time that I subbed the special ed class there, he was such a help for me, and now I will be able to do what he does. Then, on Thursday morning, I am going up to the Salt Lake City airport, and picking up Ashley! I am so excited to see her! Then, we (she and I, and my friend Taz) are driving up to Rexburg, ID, to visit Ashley's sister Tiffany. TAT will be reunited again! I will be up in Idaho from Thursday-Sunday! Then, returning home, for lots of sleep, on Sunday afternoon. I'm also very excited to go up there, because I will get to see a few of my friends from this summer while I'm there. So, it should be tons of fun! And, hopefully not too cold. The weather forecast said that it is supposed to be in the 50s and 60s, so we'll keep our fingers crossed!

Yes on Prop 8

This evening, I was priviledged to go to a broadcasted fireside about Proposition 8. For those of you who don't know what Proposition 8 is about, it is also known as the Eliminates Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry Act, will appear on the November 2008 ballot in California. It was previously titled the Protect Marriage Act. It has also been known as the Same-Sex Marriage Ban or the Limit on Marriage Amendment. If it passes, it will add a new constitutional amendment to the California Constitution that will have the following text: "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California." The ballot title for the measure says that Prop. 8 "eliminates the right of same-sex couples to marry".

When I first heard about Prop 8, I was very skeptical in how I wanted to vote. I thought that they just wanted to have the same rights as any married person. And, I agree that EVERY person should have the same rights. But, I found out that that is not what Prop 8 is about. I found out that they are trying to redefine what marriage is. And, for most of us, if not all, have grown up knowing that marriage is a union between a man and a woman.

So, Reader, I ask you this, please vote yes on Prop 8. If Prop 8 does not pass, SOOO many things will change. In grades K-8 it is mandatory to learn about health, and marriage and family is part of that curriculum, so if Prop 8 does not pass, than our future children, and even the children of today will be learning in schools about homosexuality. Not that there is anything wrong with homosexuality, but putting that message in children's minds could be detrimental. Also, by allowing gay marriage, it will make the church unable to perform marriages. Because the church is not able to discriminate against anyone, and by not performing "gay marriages" they won't be able to perform any.

So, PLEASE vote YES on Prop 8!

Welcome Home Elder Rahlf!

So, today, the last of the two missionaries who taught me the discussions came home. I was seriously so excited. I was so close to him, while he was out in the field, and while he was teaching me. Honestly, he was like a "best friend" missionary. Well, he came home to Provo today, and it was so exciting!

He flew in this morning, and then this evening his family had a "welcome home" party. I went to it and met his family. I felt like I already knew all of them so well. They were so sweet, and they felt like they already knew me, as well. Ben (Elder Rahlf) had told them so much about me, throughout the year that he knew me. It was so fun seeing him, and weird at the sametime seeing him not in "missionary clothes". But, before I went over there, I was so nervous and excited to see him. My heart was racing about a mile a minute, and I felt like I was going to pee my pants. And, I realize now that I think I was so nervous because it is finally setting in that Brandon is coming home soon.

Anywho, I cannot wait until Ben and I hangout. He is such a GREAT guy, and SOOO funny! And, it's nice to be able to talk to someone about people from back home, and they know exactly who and what I am talking about! ha ha ha.

EFY 2009

Dear Reader,

As you should know, I was an EFY counselor this past summer, and it was one of the most amazing times of my life. Reflecting back on this summer, I learned ALOT about the gospel, about Jesus Christ, and I think most importantly about myself.

On this past Friday night, I was sitting at my apartment, bored because my plans had fallen through, when I decided that I would go on to the EFY website to find out when they were accepting applications for counselors for next summer. It said it wouldn't be accepting them until Nov. 1, 2008. I then decided that I would fill out an application to be a BC (building counselor). A building counselor is basically a counselor of the counselors. To be a building counselor, you must have already been a counselor before (which I have). Well, I filled out the application and e-mailed it in. When I applied to be a counselor last year, it took them a few days to a week, to get back to me and tell me if they wanted an interview. About two hours after I had submitted my application to be a BC, I had an email from EFY telling me that they wanted me to schedule an interview with them.

So, now, here I am, not knowing exactly what to do. I want to work EFY again this coming summer, but I'm scared of what may or may not happen if I do work EFY. When you are hired as a BC, you have to work 8 weeks during the summer. And, for those of you who don't know, Brandon comes home at the end of May, and the first week of EFY (which I would have to work) is the last week of May. So, I would basically be gone the whole summer and not see him at all when he gets back. But, on the other hand, being a BC would be an AMAZING experience. I wouldn't be working directly with the youth, but I think that I could have some AMAZING experiences that would help me, the counselors I would be working with, and the youth grow.

I scheduled an interview, for Nov. 7, 2008. And, I am still so nervous about it, and if I really want to do it or not. Also, I don't think I'm nearly qualified or adequate to do this. Everyone else is so knowledgeable of the gospel, and me, I'm just Terri, who has been a member of the church for a little over a year and three months. So, I ask you, Reader, that you will pray for me. And, pray that I may find the answer that I need. Thanks!

Love you!
Terri Ann

Substitute Teaching

So, as you may know (if you have read my blog at all), I am a substitute teacher. And, even though I've only been working for three weeks, I absolutely love it (except when I have those little stinkers!).

I'd just like to give you a preview of what a normal day when I substitute teach is like:

6:30am wake up (because my roommate hogs the bathroom, if I don't get up before her)
6:45am out of the shower and dressed
7:00am done getting dressed and done with my hair
7:30am finish eating breakfast
7:45am leave for work
8:15ish am arrive at the school I will be working at
8:30am school starts
11:15am lunch
3:30pm school is out
4:00pm I am home
4:30pm on the train to nappy town!
6:30pm make dinner
12:30am go to bed (and it all starts all over again)

I have only had one class that I didn't really like, and I think it's because they had never had a substitute before, so they didn't know how to react. But, for the most part, all of my kids are great. I really hope that some teachers will call me back to work with their kids again.

General Conference

So, this weekend, we had our church General Conference, and OMG I was so excited for it. For those of you reading this who don't know what General Conference is, let me take a few moments to explain. General Conference happens twice a year, the first weekend of October and April. It is an opportunity for the members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to hear messages prepared for us by the Prophet and General Authorities. The General Conference is broadcasted from the Conference Center in Salt Lake City, UT. In the past year and three months that I have been a member of the church, I have never been able to go to Conference, but now that I am living out here, I was hoping that I would be able to go.

Last weekend, my roommate, Melissa, surprised me and told me that she got us both tickets to go to Sunday's afternoon session of Conference. I was ecstatic!

So, we got to go up to Salt Lake with Melissa's sister and sister's friends and we went to Conference. When we got there, we had to walk down the street past some protestors and it just made me laugh. And, I think I laughed because my roommate Melissa had told me how crazy they are, but the things that the protestors were saying, are things that I have had to deal with (from my mother) since I started "investigating" the church. So, it was just funny! Well, when we got into the Conference Center, I was totally awe struck, and so excited to be there. It was beautiful. We were there about an hour early, so we sat and talked and enjoyed the prelude music.

Conference was AMAZING! I loved being so close to the prophet and the apostles. Those men called by God, to lead us and guide us in these latter-days. Well, I am going to share some of my notes that I took about my 2 FAVORITE talks from the day.

Elder Russell M. Nelson:

• Do we want marriage of the highest quality, low quality, or do we want marriage shoplifters?
• Marriage is ONLY to be with a man AND a woman
• Temple marriage is the highest
• Celestial Marriage- keep sacred covenants
• Families can be together forever
• Man shall have one wife, be one flesh
• Marriage = commandment
• Temple marriage not only between husband and wife, but it is also a promise with God.
• No blessings will be with held from the faithful saints.
• Harmony in marriage- minimize personal demands and maximize acts of lovingness

My other favorite is by: Elder William D. Oswald:

• All of us have a life long challenge by the Lord to teach the gospel as it has been revealed to us
• Every member a teacher
• Jesus was and is the master teacher
• 3 principles of good teaching 1. call them by name 2. teach from the scriptures 3. encourage the pondering of gospel truths (pondering not only uses our heads, but also our hearts)

Well, that was my little input about Conference. I encourage everyone to read the talks, and seriously get as much as you can out of them!